Falling leaves of autumn

September 7th, 2006

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I can’t believe it, but my plumeria plant lost all of its leaves. It had about eight mighty growths, and now they’re just sitting there on the ground, shrivelled and browning. I was really worried, but then I started reading online and I guess maybe it’s supposed to do that in the winter time? This is one of many plants I smuggled out of Hawaii, and the only one that still survives after 2+ years. I got profoundly sad looking out my back window yesterday during the 30 minutes between work and opera meetings which I’ll now refer to as “special me time.” It’s precious, and I spent it watching the Simpsons in an empty house laughing hysterically so that the tears looked joyous instead of pathetic, even though nobody was watching. Nobody I know of.

I definitely feel my fall mood swings coming. I just looked at wunderground and found out that every day gets 2 minutes and 33 seconds shorter around now. The sun careening down to the horizon. As you know, circadian rhythms effect me profoundly, and I ride them like a rollercoaster (the same way I ride the Google Analytics graphs about how many readers this page gets). So it’s not that strange to see me these days listening to James Taylor in my car in the rain. Or standing under maples in the park as leaves crash down around me, palms and eyes facing heaven, silently murmering, “you’re killing the trees… why are you killing the trees?”

But this happens every year, so I’m used to it by now. I remember when I was an idiot teenager in highschool I’d get all sad and weepy and run and write in my journal on the subways of Boston. But I’ve grown up a lot since then. Now I write to you, Ben. Sweet Ben. Both gentle and stupid.