What Time Is It?

October 13th, 2006

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The glory lasted two months.  For all I cared that snooze button didn’t even exist, my ears deaf to her tempting whispers, “It’s okay, Ben, just a little longer, I got your back.  No worries.  No worries… no worries.?  Each repetition softer and less pronounced than the previous until once again I rode my pet tiger through the cereal jungle, on the perilous, unbeaten path to the corner of the moon’s eye.

Fine, so that’s a romanticized version of my dreams and in fact my dream last night went more like this:  I kept moving around from one strange yet familiar location to the next ordering breakfast sandwiches via delivery but never staying to receive them until finally after five times I freaked out and was like “Holy shit, I gotta go pay for these sandwiches, I can’t just expect people to pay for them for me… can I??  But my point is, I was totally off the snooze button.  Alarm goes off, Ben gets up.  End of story.  But now, oooohhhh, but now, Charlie, it’s a different story.  Now she doesn’t even tempt me with gentle whispers, she wants revenge.  When that shrill squawking awakes me (the squawking being the only sound that reminds me of my childhood, when my father would wake me with a sudden slap in the face and a few violent shakes), she’ll come up behind me, jerk my head back sharply by the hair covering my still undeveloped fontanel, hog tie my wrists with her agile, reptilious tale, and render me paralyzed and unconscious with a long and intense venomous kiss.

Charlie, can we just get through today?