the piles of wrong ones left in your wake

October 24th, 2006

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Let freedom ring like my phone on Friday night (i.e. MIDI “My Humps”)! Ahead of us, a vast and feracious sea of projects. Am I right? I’m seriously asking, am I?

I went to the library last night to get some electronics books and a documentary on tunnels (when I was trapped in NYC, I escaped briefly to The Transit Museum and was fascinated by Sandhogs, probably in the same way the Coen Brothers were fascinated by bowling while sipping latte and counting their money). I hunkered down with some RMT and read about mechanical configurations for robots and motor control and stuff, but as I was walking into work today, I started wondering, will I do any of it? I’ve been having a feeling recently like this: “Time is running out.”

I look back on my past few years and see a couple finished projects, and tons of utterly unfinished and often times unstarted ones. What’s wrong? Why does it happen? Maybe it’s because I have lots of ideas recently and it’s hard to pick one, but maybe I’m just real lazy. Either way, I need to find a way to focus (ritalin?) on one thing. A poet acquaintence of mine – apparently a sort of prodigy who toured around with Ginsberg when he was just a teenager – gave me advice one night in a bar in Philadelphia, as occasionally older guys I know suddenly feel the need to do, and generally at excatly the right time. He said, “Just make things. It doesn’t matter what it is, just always keep working”. He wasn’t talking about poetry specifically or anything that I know of. It was just words over a bar out of the blue, but I think about it a lot. And I think I waste a lot of time trying to find The Right Project, when maybe the only way to find that is to make hundred of wrong projects first, and climb up to The Right Project on the piles of wrong ones left in your wake. That may be wrong to, but I’m pretty sure you don’t find The Right Project by waiting patiently for it.