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You spoke for a generation in your last letter, man. You know what we want: obscurity and headache medicine infused with caffeine. America truly is great. And you know how I know that, because of the latest Girl’s Gone Wild commercial. Somehow, by the grace of the good Lord himself, they put four sexy coeds in one of those parabolic flight planes that create weightlessness. On my TV screen: four naked college girls floating around drunk. AMERICA!
But the combination of astroscience and taking advantage of drunken girls isn’t the only thing that’s got me clicking my heels in the air (is there a name for that action?), I’m making excellent progress setting up my new place. Here’s a list of major changes I’ve implemented to create a more comfortable, efficient household.
1. Moved toilet paper roll to right side of toilet.
Oh yeah! How could I forget! Due to the revolving door of roommates at my new place, there’s a small collection of records that have been left behind. I’ve found The Beatles, Steely Dan, Mouse on Mars, Miles Davis, and the great for cooking: Sounds of Ipanema! It’s my understanding that these records are up for grabs and therefore I have claimed them all. So far by moving into my place I’ve acquired (for free): queen size bed, bookshelf, closety-thingy for clothes, records, and cozy contentment. What else….? Right, I’ve finally found some poker-playing friends and tonight is our first game. Oh for fun, Charlie!