I Met Darren Aronofsky Last Night

November 16th, 2006

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C-Style,

Tell those diabetic boot-wearers that they should check out Junior’s of Brooklyn (also located in the theatre district – Manhattan). A modest foodery serving overpriced American fair. Granted, the frying oil tasted fresh and the tuna salad was not over-mayo-ed, but nonetheless, I can’t bring myself to spend twenty bucks on a tuna sammy (tomato costs extra) and fries with a slice of strawberry shortcake cheesecake. My point is they proffer a diabetic-delight cheesecake… so there, problem solved.

In other news I made up a lie that I bought a beagle puppy and named it Humbert Humbert. Everyone here at B. Editorial was all: “Goodness, no, Benjamin! With the long hours you voluntarily put in here at worky-poo, surely!, you can’t properly care for a puppy, tending to its frequent need to excrete stuffs and filling its motherly void, and good god!, you keep it in a cage all day?? “Yes, about this big? {Ben motions with his hands, creating the sides of a box about the size of a loaf of bread.} “No! That’s much too small! Does anyone visit it during the day?? “No one’s scheduled to.? “Oh, for heaven’s sakes! What makes you think you could care for such a precious jewel of a cute adorable piece of dogness?? “Well… I had a plant for a few days and it didn’t die so why not get a puppy.? “I see flaws in your logic, Ben. Did it get its shots, where’d you get it?? “The SPCA. No.? “No!? Oh, Ben.?

Somehow there were certain levels of belief among my co-workers. Anyway, the lid got blown off the whole thing when I showed them a poorly Photoshopped pic of my room including “Humbert Humbert.”

Come up to NYC this weekend, tooters, and let’s go to Minca Ramen Factory.

-Ben

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