Blue Monday

December 18th, 2006

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Ben,

Here’s what my head feels like: like there’s a delicate, beautiful water balloon suspended in a sphere of spikes by tiny cables. Any slight movement makes it ache, nearly explode. Also light is painful. I turned all my LCDs down to the lowest possible brightness, didn’t turn the lights on and have been drinking water and eating saltines. I haven’t had a hangover in a while. I forgot what it’s like. Walking into work, the outside world was the enemy. It’s almost calming in a way. Hangovers make you very introspective. Because that’s the only place that doesn’t hurt.

I’m gonna go get some soup.

I know things are hard now, Ben. That I haven’t been writing as much. But it’s not you. Dear God, don’t think it’s you.

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