“What’s that sonny??”

February 20th, 2007

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Ben,

Well, guess what. I’m going bald. I mean, not totally, but man, these widows’ peaks are a-marchin’. I mean, Jack Nicholson pulled them off. Why’d she cut so much hair off dude?? My accelerated decrepitude staring back at me in the mirror saying, “What’s that sonny??”

And, I mean, this won’t mean much to you. Since you were one of the kids at high school at the cool table, and my high school didn’t even have tables, and was actually basically just me an a couple other guys surrounded by barbed wire and Norton Anthologies. But, I’m throwing a LAN party this Friday (see attached flier). What’s that you say? Well, it’s sort of like the nerd-equivalent of a gay orgy. You and other like minded individuals gather together to indulge in a secret shame that lasts all night. There’s lots of yelling, and people get hurt, and you usually don’t talk about it later on.

Anyhow, I had to actually buy a copy of Starcraft last night, which felt more than a little weird. I mean, it came out in 1998, and has been readily available online since then. BUT! I’m an Apple man now, and finding a Mac version in the dark alleys of the internet feels like trying to buy some obscure Yugo part out of the back of a van. Nobody knows what you’re talking about, and even if they did, they don’t want to help you. So, I bought it at Target. They just had it on the shelf! Name another video game that has been around for NINE years that still sells and is readily available. I await your reply on this subject.

In other related news, as soon as Apple upgrades their Mac Pro desktops, I’m gonna buy one. I’m assuming they are intercepting my mail to read the pulse of the cutting edge, so maybe this’ll light a fire under their ass. Are you listening guys!?? This is what the people want! Also, come to my LAN party!

Love,
Charlie

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