Beware The Ides, 2007

March 15th, 2007

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Okay. Firstly, yes. Avocados. But I thought you already knew… I thought everyone knew. Where have you been on this one? What was holding you back? What have you been eating in its stead? (Please don’t answer these questions in your response… in actuality I don’t care… it’s just dramatic and usually alliterative to ask a series of questions.) Up here, where the streets run green with its milky blood, you’ll find avocado somewhere on nearly every menu. Some favorites from the our usual lunch joints: avocado, arugula, and goat cheese salad from Spring Street Natural; avocado sammy with sprouts, spicy mayo, tomato, and onions from Olives; and the avocado and white cheese burrito from Café Habana. And how’s this, ole boy… I guarantee you I’ll have avocado in my lunch today. That’s my promise to you, dear friend.

Secondly: house sitting. It really is a strange thing to inhabit someone else’s space. You come in and immediately notice the smell, the tint of the walls, the texture of the upholstery. You get situated and read the note left behind for you. Which cat eats the weight control food in the blue bag and which get the regular stuff from the orange bag. Where they keep the towels and linens, to welcome yourself to any food in the house, nothing is off limits. Cell phone numbers, number for the local animal hospital. Thanks so much, you’ll find we’ve supplied you with wine and ice cream.

Then you go through the kitchen drawers and cabinets to note where they keep their silverware, dry food goods, pots/pans. You notice a trend in healthy, natural brands. There’s also no paper towels. In fact, they live a sort of “green? life and as such the only disposable paper product in the house is toilet paper, and I’m sure they’d get a bidet if they had the chance. (Admittedly, I’m a huge fan of the concept of bidet, and only during those brief few weeks in Europe have I ever had the luxury of using one, though at the time I was too young to truly understand its benefits. At that stage of adolescence I still had a relatively neutral body order.) They also have all natural bath products which usually come in flavors and scents like fennel, lotus root, and basil. Stuff you might put in a stew or a slow cooked meal, not something I’d personally describe as fresh. I want the psychosomatic-ish freshness of mint, cinnamon, or even the more abstract scents of mountain zests, Irish springs, and tidal breezes.

But it’s cool. I just pretend that I’m at the point in my life where I have my own reasonably sized apartment.


PS: “We live in a city of dreams, we drive on a highway of fire. Should we wake and find it gone, remember this our favorite town.? OR “Sex and sin, sax and violins.?