Dinosaurs? Perhaps Not.

April 2nd, 2007

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Charles, dear-

Surely you mustn’t think me a philistine!  It’s true, I’ve yet to acquire any acquaintances (what a tickling alliteration!) in Le Pomme Grande (delightful!) to whom a round of croquet and rosy cheeks isn’t a put off, but time will be the judge, ol’ boy.  Oh yes, she’ll see us all to bed.

But indulge me a spell as I recount some of my own cultural gallivanting from this Saturday past.  I paid a visit to the American Museum of Natural History, I believe you’ve been, no?  Surprisingly, I found myself drawn towards the anthropological and archeological sections of the museum, and barely laid foot in the Rose Center for Earth and Space.  How bizarre, right?  Me, interested in the disgusting lifestyle of cavemen, what with their clumsy tools… oh, and the clothing!  How one can hunt and gather all day long in those rough, crude outfits is beyond me!  Thank God our ancestors had the mind to dress decently.  Could you imagine, us hobbling around in a burlap loincloth.  Just the thought makes me guffaw audibly.  It’s some world we live in, Charles.

After a quiet lunch by the pond in Central Park I returned to the museum to see the fossilized remains of an extinct brand of reptile.  The dinosaur.  From the looks of it, these were quite impressive creatures.  Towering large or humbly small, all shapes and sizes, all ways of life.  Like a little world of dinosaurs.  But then it struck me.  How terribly odd that such a diverse group of animals - especially when one includes the fantastic mammals like saber-toothed cats and mammoths - all went extinct, but other… less interesting creatures managed to survive.  Yes, consider this:  a varied and incredibly interesting and profitable set of species goes extinct and we, the eager public, believe every ounce of it.  You see where I’m headed?  Yes, Charlie!  Dinosaurs are a hoax!  They were made up shortly after the depression to help spike the economy.  And truth be told, to this day dinosaurs are one of the most profitable subjects in television, books, museums, clothing, toys, truly they’ve infiltrated every corner of modern society.  And it turns out, those bones in the museum are just casts, not even the real thing!  I’ve never seen a real dinosaur bone, have you?  And even if you were told a bone was real, would you know?  Charles, they’ve pulled the wool over our peepers once again!

Undeniably, it’s a valid, sound argument.  I’ll see you tonight.