not that great at moderation

July 11th, 2007

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It’s morning in Philadelphia.

So P left for Bulgaria by way of Baltimore yesterday night. After hanging out for a whole week straight in MA, I figured I’d be pretty ready for some of my patented Bachelor Time (Starcraft, potato chips), but not so! I was totally bummed all day yesterday. It was locker-room hot out, so I just went to the closest deli and got a (disappointingly-small-in-diameter) hoagie. While I was sitting there staring at the meats in the freezer while the guy made the sandwich (where are we supposed to look when that’s happening anyhow), I was trying to remember the last time I was in this situation with a person, and trying to figure out what went wrong.

I’m an impatient person, Ben. I’m also pretty decadent, not that great at moderation. I don’t feel like waiting for bananas to ripen. Microwaving takes too long. PartyParty, Large Wonton Soups, Boxed Sets of Television Series, etc. I’m an American, by God. Sustainability isn’t my concern, and it’s easily overlooked when faced with something that’s seemingly inexhaustible. So after that week, now I’m all, “keep it coming” when really I’ve gotta fast for a while. Leave that shit alone. I can’t be all harvest, Ben. I’ve gotta sow, and I’ve gotta just hang out on the porch sometimes and watch the fields of the delicious fruits of l’amour grow, maybe water them or something, when all I really wanna be doing is devour them like a locust swarm with a laptop. Is my metaphor coming through? Is there anybody in there?

So I read LXG2 again last night and reminded myself again to find the song Hyde sings as he strolls in a tux toward the alien hordes. I drank Fiji instead of beer. I wanted to be smoking cigarettes, but I guess I’ll just have to replace that with something. I’ve never liked pretzels, but maybe it’s time to change. I just have to find the pretzels for me.