tell my boss that I’ve been fired

July 13th, 2007

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Hi Ben,

I switched backpacks recently. Kind of a big deal.

For the past year or so, I’ve been using this little bag that zips onto this much bigger bag I have for careening through foreign countries in search of hip, fresh importables. But, lets be honest with ourselves and each other: I’m not careening through foreign countries. I don’t even like going to South Philly. So, I moved to an older bag I had, but not before gluing a pocket from this old pair of corduroys and a NASA patch on there. The advantage of this bag is that it can be either back pack or messenger style, it’s a bit tougher and bigger, and has more pockets and padding. The disadvantages are pretty much the same list, but I read them with disappointment. I’m already having some separation anxiety, and though I love patches, I have never actually put them on anything and I feel a little weird about every jerk at the deli knowing I like astronauts. They don’t need to know.

“We’ll be sleeping in the flowers, tell my boss that I’ve been fired.”

Here’s a list of books I took out of the library, and some reasons why:

  • Frankenstein, Mary Shelly - I remember it being pretty good, and totally not like Goosebumps or something. Basically the earliest “man’s creation becomes self aware, rises against him” story. Please correct me if I am wrong. Maybe The Bible is…
  • The Adventures and the Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, Arthur Conan Doyle - I reread The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen recently, and wanted to make good on my self-promise to actually read some of the source material. I’ve never read any Sherlock Holmes stuff, except in high school maybe. When I was a drooling, poetry-slamming idiot, and openly disdained culture, knowledge.
  • The Essential Knot Book, Colin Jarman - I don’t know any non-shoe-related knots. Whenever people say they can’t tie knots, it’s like they missed their chance or something. Like, “I never learned how to tie knots. Can’t go back and change it now!” My theory: you can. But I bet you’d need a better book. This one sucks and has very vague diagrams. The kind that begin with a straight rope, and step two is a completed, 30 step knot.
  • U.S. Armed Forces survival guide, ed. John Boswell - You never know! Could you build a sturdy 4 person raft with nothing but some logs and a knife? I now feel like I could! This book makes me want to go hiking. After surviving a plane crash.

Fin,
Charlie

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