I’m already quoting Hunt for Red October in my head

August 21st, 2007

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Dear Ben,

I did, indeed, receive your wrongly addressed, insufficiently posted, and long awaited letter. Now the exact mirror image of your life I keep on my end has to be resequenced. Straighten up and fly right, please.

Sometimes, I go through a phase where I wake up, and I’m already quoting Hunt for Red October in my head. And not even really memorable lines either. “He invented the atomic bomb. Later he was accused of being a communist.” I’m thinking that as I get out of bed. In the shower I’m all, “Russians don’t take a dump, son, without a plan,” in an affected southern accent. It’s not just that movie either. Sometimes it’s Jurassic Park. Once I mumbled “Elly, the doorlocks!” to myself for three weeks at multiple points throughout the day. I think maybe it’s my way of avoiding the real issues. Or maybe it’s my way of filling the gaps where issues fear to tread. In any case, most things in here don’t react too well to bullets.

I meant to take a snapper or two of the coffee table I’m working on, but I forgot. Remember in my last letter where I said I was going to start doing stuff? I totally have. I started making a Captain Nemo Coffee Table™. I think it has turned out really well, but I worry about the final process, where I pour crystal clear epoxy over all the clippings and printouts and illustrations that I’ve glued to a hunk of wood. This is the step that betrayed me the last time I tried to glue things to a table. So, after work, I’ll head over to the Fake House and check on my creation. I don’t want to give away too much, but it says “MOBILIS IN MOBILI” really big on it.

Another thing I’ve been thinking to myself: “I bet I could take scrapbooking to strange new places.”