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So I get in the shower this morning only to realize that I’m out of shampoo. I didn’t panic. I kept my cool and assessed the situation. I could easily steal just a dollop from a roommate’s bottle and no one would be the wiser. Just a little taste to get me through today, ya know. No big deal, though I was a little discouraged by the options. I passed on a green bottle that seemed to be trying too hard and some OTC dandruff control stuff that was a disturbing cobalt blue and very thick, almost gritty, and ended up going with a 2-in-1 because I wasn’t sure if I should mix different brands of shampoo and conditioner. I mean… is that even safe?
Afterwards, as I shook the excess water from my body like a dog before stepping out of the shower, I felt brand new. I liked trying something different. I know, Charlie! I said it! You know me better than almost anyone and could attest to my nearly ascetic lifestyle. The way I always snooze three times. Always use Irish Spring soap. Always keep a blue Bic ballpoint pen in my right front jeans pocket, my keys in the back right, wallet back left. Always wipe four times – no more no less. Always one more for good measure if it’s right before bed. Always tuna salad, let, tom, prov, on toasted wheat, pepper. Always.
But now. exhale. But now it’s like someone’s taken my blinders off and ripped the bit from my mouth. Suddenly the world is mine to explore. The corner bodega, once a clutter of neatly stacked distraction, now, now a treasure trove of possibility. Now a place where I could change my life forever. I vow, Charlie! I vow to never live the same day twice. Never again. I’ve wasted too much time making rules, playing favorites. Think of all the other flavors of Doritos I’ve eschewed time and time again for Spicier Nacho, well starting today they’re on the menu! Fuck it, Charlie, nothing is sacred anymore. All is allowed! Why ever judge!? It’s all just options. Choices.
Choices, Charlie. And they’re all ours.