the old digital clock lurches

October 11th, 2007

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Dear Ben,

Sounds like you and your biker pals had a very nice time of it with those old people. Congratulations on an evening well-spent! My bike remains tethered to that rusty railing in my backyard. I can’t really get it out since people keep changing the locks on the gate that goes back there. I think there’s a feud happening that I’m not privy to between the lesbians next door and the jocks next door. You know that old rivalry. I will be lucky to survive it.

I’ve been awfully tired these days. I blame autumn, even thought it’s been 80 and sunny for weeks now as we enter into October’s midsection. I dunno, I haven’t sent interesting letters recently. I guess because I haven’t felt interesting. Which doesn’t make any sense because my project pace is about on par. I did make my car into a lobster a few weeks ago. And yet…. I don’t know. Somehow when I was 21 or so, I figured I’d have total control of planet earth by the time I was 25, and now I’m a few months away from that milestone and I’m doing the same thing I was doing two years ago. Which isn’t to say that I think I’m wasting my time, I’ve been keeping busy, but god damn. When am I going to be able to get paid to just create for eff’s sake. Not create other people’s junk, but my own. And while we’re on the subject, when am I going to actually make anything. I complained about working on other people’s projects, and here I am with about a dozen of my own barely started. I wonder if I have ADD. I wonder if there’s a pill that will help me focus.

That’s where I am as the old digital clock lurches over to 10am. I can’t remember if this is my first or second cup of coffee. If you put a gun to my head, I’d say first.