The Flow

October 23rd, 2007

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I’m embracing my first lazy day since I quit my job. I let myself sleep until nine and instead of deconstructing my desk and taking it to the Naval Yard, I’m at The Flying Saucer sipping an iced coffee and writing you a letter. I could rationalize it and think that not worrying about the desk and just hanging out and working on my website all day is actually a better plan since the sooner I can officially launch, the sooner I can send it out to prospective clients. But I won’t. Not in the mood for that kind of thinking. Plus, I’m more concerned with whether or not I left The Flying Saucer without paying yesterday. I don’t remember paying.

When I walked over here I decided that I’d say something like, “Hey, did I forget to pay yesterday?? In a real casual way. I’d be half fingering through the bills in my wallet and giving him a real curious look. Trying to play the whole thing down. And he’d be thinking, “Yes. You did not pay. I remember perfectly.? But instead he’d look up real quick and bring one hand up a bit and think about it for a second and claim he didn’t remember either way. Trying to play the whole thing down. And I read his thoughts, which is exactly what he wants me to do, and claim that I’m pretty sure I didn’t pay and try to hand him two bucks. But he’s good, real good. He knows he’s more casual than me. And I know it too. So he says, “Don’t worry about it. You come in here enough.? But I don’t feel comfortable with that, because though I do come here frequently, I’ve never really broken the ice with him. So I make my move, trying to maintain nonchalance, and slip the bills into the tip jar, but the truth is I’m breaking up - I am losing it - and I fumble the whole thing and almost knock the tip jar off the counter. But it’s cool, we laugh it off and I walk to my table praying to god I don’t spill my nearly overflowing coffee.

What actually happened is that I panicked at the very beginning and didn’t even bring it up. And right now I know he’s over there, brooding and thinking, “Look at this kid, he totally forgot to pay yesterday and he doesn’t even remember. I’m laid back and all, but c’mon, we’re trying to run a business here,? and he’s wishing he could just brush it off. But he can’t. So basically I’ll have to gradually repay him through inflated tips.